The Whole World Is Set On Fire

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few days, you've most likely heard of Japan.   More specifically the devastation Japan has experienced since the 9.0 magnitude earthquake that occurred a week ago today, on March 11th.  The sheer strength of the quake, the relation of the epicenter to population masses, and the shallow hypocenter all played a crucial part in the destructive outcome of the past week.  

The St. Louis Post Dispatch illustrated the magnitude of the earthquake itself in relation to other historical quakes and energy equivalents such as volcanic eruptions.  Japan's recent earthquake was the third most powerful quake in known history.  The energy released was more than the volcanic eruptions of Krakatoa and Mt. St. Helens, well above that of the Hiroshima atomic bomb (!), and far beyond the strength of an average tornado.  All of this power was unleashed on the island nation of Japan.  That was just the earthquake.

from St. Louis Post Dispatch (03.12.2011) A5

The threat to life and property continued after the shock waves ebbed.  The quake triggered a massive tsunami that wiped parts of the coast clean off the map.  Live footage is available from virtually every major news source, showing the destructive force of the tsunami.  In latter days of this ordeal, we've also learned of the growing threat of nuclear meltdown at power plants damaged by the quake and tsunami.  

While the Post's coverage of the disaster has quickly diminished from above-the fold bold priority to today's below the fold 1/5 of the spread, the disaster is far from over.  

Google maps before and after the earthquake/tsunami

Misha Collins, a noted actor and philanthropist, recently Tweeted:

What happened in Japan is killing me. So sad. Its like the apocalypse happened, but only in one country.

I couldn't have said it better myself.  We can't put this on the back burner.  This can't be another Hurricane Katrina, where we broadcast the living daylights out of the event for a period of time and then push it out of sight.  

Recently, Criminal District Court Judge Laurie White from New Orleans spoke on my campus about Katrina and the havoc is wreaked not only on the city of New Orleans, but its people, its infrastructure, and, interestingly enough, it's justice system.  It's been six years since Hurricane Katrina hit.  Judge White expressed how you could travel to New York City and asked someone there about Katrina; they might respond with "wasn't that a long time ago?"  If you went to New Orleans, however, she pointed out, you would see a vast difference in perspective.  

I fear this is bound to happen with Japan.  They aren't out of the woods yet, and even when that point comes after God only knows what else, Japan is not going to bounce back right away.  The infrastructure damage is going to take years to rebuild.  The loss of life will never be recouped.  

My hope for the U.S. is that we, as a nation, will be here to support Japan in whatever they need.  If it's foreign aid, we can provide.  If it's relief workers, we have people ready in the wings (my own friend Lakota among them).  If, barring all that, they just need people to remember that they're working to rebuild their lives, we can remember.  Always remember.  

This 4-month old baby girl was found in the ruins of her home and reunited with her parents on March 14th, she had been missing since March 11th.  It's stories like this juxtaposed by the tragedy of the loss of life that is the face of Japan right now.  We love you, Japan.       

#loveforjapan

Capstone

I started off Spring Break this year with good intentions.  I was going to get a whole bunch of stuff done.  I was going to blog my cooking adventures, my gardening forays, my spackling pursuits (not really on that last one).

It didn't end well.  

In short, I planned too many things, procrastinated on about half as many, and took no account whatsoever of the weather forecast.  My last huzzah was my mid-break progress report.  It's been a week now since.  My break fizzled out with a nasty head/body achey cold thing that dragged into this week.  Sniffle, I think I'll live.  Nah, my real pursuit here is to capstone my break and bid my second to last spring break of my undergraduate career adieu properly.

I did make that list, and I stuck to it; as much as possible.  

1.  Cooking marathon!

Last episode, in the realm of cooking, I had created a splendiferously (I am amazed that the spell check didn't flag that) Irish meal of pot roast and potato cakes, topped off with a chocolate cheesecake.  I am proud to say that I made good on my list of foods to create over the week.  In addition to the meal I just described, there were enchiladas (c/o Pioneer Woman, who else?) and an Irish version of chicken pot pie.  Naturally I waited until later in the week for any more cooking creations as I was full for a solid three days after the pot roast meal.  I'm still eating leftovers, too.  Don't judge me, it's what's freezers are for.  And microwaves.  I'm a college student, what can I say?  

2.  Vegetable garden! & 3.  Compost box!

Sadly my out of doors plans were foiled by the weather.  That pesky thing, especially here in St. Louis, it's never dependable.  It rained most of the week, which caused my already mud pit of a backyard to turn into a wasteland of quicksand.  I seriously can't find my boots I wore out there the previous week.  That bad.  The gardening/composting activities are on hiatus, hopefully in a more suitable region for now, until my yard becomes walkable again.  And I find those boots.  

4.  Amiga time!

"Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold," is a cute little ditty I learned in Daisy Girl Scouts (it was a dark time in my life).  In any event, I enjoy spending time with old and new friends.  I had a wonderful movie date with my new friend, Amanda - cheers Amanda! - and spent plenty of time with my gal Lakota (we go way back, her and me).  California Pizza kitchen, the recent "Red Riding Hood" film, and shopping was involved.  I would say it was a splendid way to relax, indeed.  

5.  Writing time!

Lastly, yes I did get (some) writing time.  Not as much as I'd like, but then again that's one of my own fallacies anyway.  I probably couldn't do all the writing I'd want to even if I gave it my 110% because, well, I doubt I'll ever stop writing.  Did you see what I did there?  

Do you get my joke?  Because your head, it's... it's in a tuba.

Yeah yeah, I won't quit my day job.  Wait, I don't have a day job.  Well I'm hosed.  

Thus endeth the spectacular week of the spring break and now it's back to the grind.  Naturally it's pushing 3 A.M. and I'm still up.  Glad to see old habits die hard.  Speaking of old habits, I feel another list is in order.  

1. I am currently 1 (one!) DVD away from owning every movie Michelle Rodriguez has appeared in.  I'm cool (or crazy) like that.   
2. 3 A.M. is, coincidentally, one of those films I own.  
3. My dad, either through his appreciation of action flicks, or because he knows how much I love a certain aforementioned actress, (or both) took me to see Battle: Los Angeles the last day of break.  Great film. I may post more on it at a later date.  Suffice it for now to say, I will most likely go back and see it again.  
4. I recently learned that the plural of colloquium is colloquia.  I love words whose plural form is irregular and funky looking.  It adds intrigue.   
5. I recently also learned (finally) how to pronounce colloquium (kuh-low-qwee-uhm).  
6. I know of about five of my friends who are engaged and will be getting married within the next year.  I feel old.  ish.  
7. I have a milestone birthday coming up in less than a month (very excited).  
8. There is a Princess and the Frog theme in this post.  
9. I watched Princess and the Frog last week.  
10. I tried making beignets (it took me forever to find out how to spell that word) once.  On a whim.  At 11 at night.  With Lakota.  Without the proper ingredients.  It didn't end well.  My brother, on the other hand, recently made beignets and they were amazing.  What gives?

Cheers,

RF

Spring Break Progress

I can't believe I'm already halfway through my spring break.  The time you want to go by quickly never does, yet the time you want to slow down winds up zipping by like a mayfly's life cycle.  Stupid bugs.

I kicked my week off with a fancy schmancy dinner for my family Sunday evening.  The menu consisted of "Perfect Pot Roast" from The Pioneer Woman, and a few selections from the Irish Pub Cooking book I scored from B&N recently, potato cakes and a chocolate cream cheesecake!  Yum.

I was fully prepared to chronicle my cooking extravaganza, but thought a few snapshots would suffice instead.  Cue snapshots!

Despite its commercial appeal, the recipes looked fabulous.  And so far have proven to be just as tasty.  

P-dubs' Pot Roast- thyme, rosemary, carrots, onion, and a chuck roast was involved.  Oh and love.  Sheer love.  My house has never smelled so amazing.   

I count this a major success in my book- it's the first roast I've made el solo, and I didn't burn the house or the meat to cinders.  Win.

Perhaps the source of my feeling like it was me who immigrated from Ireland rather than my great grandfather- potato cakes.  Curiously delicious.  

The dinner ensemble

... Never forget dessert... 

It might not look like much but it tasted... well... how to describe?  

Close enough.  

I'm still recovering from the sheer deliciousness of it all.  Unfortunately, due to a series of poorly timed events, I haven't been to karate yet this week which isn't helping me feel any less sluggish after such a rich evening.  But I digress.  

With this beauty from California Pizza Kitchen, Hawaiian BBQ!

Monday proved just as fabulous when Lakota and I indulged in some of that amiga time I spoke of, and what better place to do that than CPK?  

Status quo?  I've eaten some fabulous food and spent time with even more fab friends so far.  More amiga time tomorrow with my girl Amanda!  Not too shabby!  

I really have been filling in the holes with productive activities, I promise.  I'm just highlighting, well, the highlights.  Spackling isn't exactly a highlight.  Nor is a puppy watching.  

Due to the copious amounts of wet weather I've experienced lately, my outdoor plans will unfortunately have to be put on hold this week.  Le sigh.  

Happy midweek to one and all,

RF

What's Worth Living For

 I started this post a few months ago, right after the tragic Tucson, Arizona shootings.  

There are not many things that I am certain of for my future.  I don't know what it holds.  I have a skeleton of an idea of what I'd like to do and see, but ultimately I'm taking life as it comes.  One thing I've felt for a while now, almost for certain, is that I want children of my own someday.  Not every woman wants children; I have a friend who turns the other way when a bouncing gurgling baby is in the vicinity and another friend who would melt on the spot.  I'm somewhere in between, but closer to the typical mushy what-a-cute-baby type. 

I grew up in the heartland of the United States.  We were a family with two children, a dog, and a white ranch house.  My brother and I had everything we needed (and more), but I wouldn't say we were ever conceited.  I knew that bad things happened to people but I guess there was always a safe barrier, if you will, between me and them.  The people were always in a different part of the world or a different time.  I was always safe.  Then I grew up.

I don't know if this is a sign of the times, but I'm just shy of my twenty-first birthday and I've taken pause at just how frail our lives are.  The sad events of (what's now two months ago in) Tucson Arizona have me thinking.  Thinking about what kind of world I live in.  And about the world my own children will live in someday.

I find myself thinking about the life I want for my family someday.  I want to live out in the country a bit, with plenty of land to roam.  I want sweet, simple things for my children.  I want them to grow up enriched with the beauty of nature and a loving family around them.  I don't want them to have everything, but rather I want them to have more than they need.  I want them to be happy.  I want them to live long lives. 

I want a lot of the things parents like Christina Taylor Green's parents wanted for their daughter.  It's been months, as I mentioned, since the attacks in Arizona and I still feel a sense of grief for Christina's parents.  Tears come to my eyes when I recall the interview with them, when her mother described the phone call.  She immediately thought it was a car accident.  What mother expects to send her third grader to a political meeting at a local grocery store and then hear that she was shot and killed?  

Life seems so fragile.

I think about the dreams we have for our lives and for our children, and how they can be so quickly marred by grief and terror.  I think about all the things that claim people's lives, from cancer to car accidents, to natural disasters and terrorism.  And the threats are everywhere.  They're in India, Uganda, Serbia, and Guatemala.  They're in the United States, too. 


I wonder if other people my age who've known they want kids some day have been so taken aback by such horrific acts of violence that they consider not having children after all.  I have.  I think about the grief of Christina's parents.  And the grief of countless others who've seen the hopes and dreams for their children come crashing down with the smoke of a gun or the invasive cells of cancer.  And I wonder again what's worth living for. 

My simple answer is love.  It might sound cliche, but that's what I come back to again and again and I have no other way to put it.  Christina Taylor Green's parents never once said they regretted having Christina, rather they expressed that while she had a tragic beginning (she was born 9/11/01) and end to her life, the years in between were beautiful and full of love. 

One of my assorted oddities is how much movie quotes can move me.  I quote movies often, in my writing and in everyday jargon.  I have this thought on my mind about what's worth living for and a beautiful, heartfelt quote comes to my mind from Where the Heart Is (2000).  I thought I'd end on this inspiring note. 

"You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take... and tell 'em to hold on like hell to what they've got...we've all got meanness in us, but we've got goodness too. And the only thing worth living for is the good. And that's why we've got to make sure we pass it on."

Rest in peace, Christina Taylor Green September 11, 2001 - January 8, 2011

Sincerely,

RF

Spring Break 2011

With each passing semester, my graduation draws closer.  I've come to appreciate how few spring breaks I have left.  That would be two, to be specific.  Now I don't have the money to take a fabulous vacation to some exotic beach, but that's not the only way to spend a spring break. 

Au contraire, not every college student is programmed to seek sex and alcohol at every chance he or she gets.  No, I plan to make the most of my spring break doing the things I want to do.  

I'm not a compulsive list maker or anything, but this is what's coming up in the world of Running Fish.  
1.  Cooking Marathon!

I've got my eye on a couple of recipes from my Pioneer Woman cookbook I got for Christmas.  I also added an Irish Pub cookbook to my repertoire recently care of a Barnes and Noble St. Patrick's Day themed display.  I couldn't resist the delicious looking recipes it contained. 

This week I plan to make a couple of recipes from these books and, of course, chronicle them in the Closet Cook section.  

2.  Vegetable Garden!

Last season I tried my hand at gardening, container gardening that is, and loved it.  This year I have come into a forlorn corner garden that has seen better days, and I have many plans.  As much as I wish I could start my seedlings, alas I cannot.  I can, however, get the garden prepared.  

This week I plan to work through my sad little garden and, as it's on a slight hill, tier it into segments for optimal vegetable planting.   
 
3.  Compost box!

This is just one more nail in my geek coffin, I suppose.  I've had lumber waiting to become a compost box since last fall.  It will become one this next week.
 
4.  Amiga Time!

This is the best part of my week!  There will be much amiga time!  

5.  Writing!

I haven't done a whole lot of personal writing in a while.  I have quite a few stories and their characters who've been relegated to the extended history space on my hard drive, probably wondering if they'll ever see daylight again.  I plan on bringing them out for a bit this week. 

Happy Spring!

RF

The Pioneer Woman and Me

Ree Drummond a.k.a. The Pioneer Woman a.k.a. P-Dub made a stop to St. Louis last weekend on her book tour.  Of course I was there.  I have photographic evidence.  P-Dub is darling.  Her husband, Marlboro Man, was there as well.  MM is darling too.

Photographic evidence.  That's me hanging out behind P-Dub.  Somehow Lakota and her Momma snuck in there too...  Just kidding, I love you ladies.   

I recently found myself presented with an unexpected day off.  With that extra time on my hands, and in honor of meeting P-Dub and Marlboro Man themselves, I decided to do some baking.  What better way to celebrate meeting a cookbook author than to make something from said cookbook?  

Enter said cookbook. 

The Closet Cook strikes again!  I decided on Cinnamon Rolls.  I also decided that Ree's original recipe was better suited for an army.  Seeing as my family of three probably would drown under the sheer amount of cinnamon roll goodness the original recipe would produce, I created a halved recipe.  Rather, I divided the ingredients in half which isn't nearly the same creating a recipe.  I digress. 

The original recipe is available on Ree's website, of course.  

The modified version for people who don't have an army to feed:

Dough:

2 cups whole milk*

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/2 cup sugar

 1 package active dry yeast

4 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 tablespoon salt

Filling:

1 cup melted butter

1/8 cup ground cinnamon 

1 cup sugar

Maple** icing:

1 pound powdered sugar

1/4 cup whole* milk

3 tablespoons melted butter

1/8 cup strongly brewed coffee

Pinch of salt

1/2 tablespoon maple flavoring or maple extract

 * I have to make a confession.  I didn't use whole milk.  I used 1%.  Because that's what we drink.  And I didn't want to buy whole milk.

** I have another confession to make, I didn't make maple icing.  I pretty much just didn't add the coffee or the maple flavoring.

They tasted delicious still, I promise.

Following Ree's faithful cookbook, I started with the dough.  I heated the milk, vegetable oil, and sugar, taking care not to allow the mixture to boil.  Just shy of boiling, I removed it from the heat.  The cookbook instructs to allow the mixture to cool to lukewarm before adding the yeast.

Or you can just remove from the heat and add the yeast on top right away like I did.  I then allowed the yest to chill on top for a minute.  One minute.  Not one second more or less.  Because I like to pick and choose which directions are more important than others.

Next is the flour.  3 1/2 cups of it.  I stirred until just combined and then covered the bowl with a dish towel for an hour.

Then I had an hour to fill.

So I went and twiddled my thumbs.

Actually, I went and burned some brush out back.

When my hour was up, I recruited my brother to watch the fire while I attended to the dough. 

To the ruminating dough I added the baking powder, baking soda, salt, and the rest of the dough (1 cup).

At this point, the dough can actually be refrigerated for up to three days.  I chose to use it right away, which is allowed per Ree's recipe.  It's also at this point I would advise to chill the dough for at least another hour, because I found the dough could have been easier to work with if it had had time to firm up a bit.  Details smetails. 

The next step, regardless of whether it's three minutes or three days after the last step, is to melt some butter and swish is around the desired baking pan.  Which is what I did.

This looks nothing like a rectangle.  

This was the (messy) fun part.  I rolled the dough, attempting to follow the "rectangle shape" instructions.  I obviously failed geometry.

Sniff.  I did the best I could.

Now, the original recipe directs you to work with half of the dough at this point.  I did this, but, long story short, don't.  In this shortened recipe, I should have used the whole blob of dough at once.  Pretend I did this.

I added about half of a 1/2 cup of melted butter next.  Then sprinkled the cinnamon and the sugar EVERYWHERE.  Then I added the rest of the butter.  And then added some more cinnamon and sugar again too.  Yum.

Once the filling was perfected to all of its buttery sugary cinnamony glory, I started rolling the dough.  The goal was a rolled dough log.  I had a rolled dough blob.  I tried to keep each layer as tight as possible, because it would make more rings in the rolls and more rings means... I don't really know what it means.  But it's important.

This.  smells.  amazing. 

The next step was to cut the log into strips.  This is the point I realized I wish I had chilled the dough.  The dough circles I cut didn't retain the circular shape that seems to be the norm for cinnamon rolls.  I had cinnamon blobs.

Despite its unruliness, this.  looks.  amazing.

Let me introduce my cinnamon blobs.  I assure you, however, they tasted fantastic no matter what their shape.  I would also suggest to cut the rolls wider as opposed to thinner. 

I then placed the rolls into the baking pan and preheated the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.  I covered the pan with a dish towel and set aside for 20 minutes to let the dough rise.  Once I finished twiddling my thumbs for 20 minutes, I removed the towel and baked for the suggested 13 to 17 minutes.  Make sure the rolls are baked through enough.  I didn't and I almost ruined the whole thing. 

While the rolls were baking, I made the icing!  I whisked together the powdered sugar, butter, and salt.  If they're not crazy like me, one could go ahead and add the coffee and maple flavoring too.  This is what makes it maple icing.  I just had butter and sugar icing.  Whisk whisk whisk.

Action shot!

Once the cinnamon rolls were baked sufficiently, I promptly removed them from the oven and poured the icing EVERYWHERE.

Then I sat back and drooled.

Then I located a bowl.

And a fork.    

Bowl of love. 

This is a bowl of love.  It is love in a bowl.  With a fork.

Make these.  As soon as possible.  Eat them for breakfast.  

Or you can make them in the middle of the day if you want.  Like I did.  Whatever floats your boat.

I'm no Pioneer Woman, but I'd like to think of this as an adventure of the Pioneer Woman and me.

Signed,

A Closet Cook

You are beautiful

Online social media sites can be a great way to interact with the world, keep up to date on the latest and greatest, or simply waste a whole lot of time (I will raise a hand to that).  I'm part of the technology generation and from personal experience, I'm all for online social media; but what happens when people go too far?  

I don't mean the ridiculous amount of time college students such as myself spend procrastinating on Facebook.  I'm talking about when online social media is used in such a way that promotes actual harm to people.  Hopefully you recall the 2006 suicide of St. Louis area native, Megan Meier, after being harassed by the mother of a school friend using a fake MySpace profile; the incident prompted the Megan Meier Cyber Bullying Prevention Act of 2009 though it never became law.  What a horrible situation.  Let me introduce a new piece of work, an individual by the name of Kenneth Tong who uses his Twitter page for, well, I'll let the tweets do the talking. 

" @... I am indeed for real, and my size zero pill works, I serve as thinspiration to Twitter, of which is my stage.

Inner beauty is a myth. You are just fat. You are unloved. People look at you & are pleasant cause they feel sorry for you. Size Zero...

If your beautiful in your own way, am glad you appreciate yourself, cause that plus size garment can't breathe with your fat stretching it.

I do no promote anorexia. I promote managed anorexia. I created the latter term. I defined the latter, I assure you there is a difference.

I wholeheartedly hope I put you off your Dinner. Look at yourself. You are a disgrace. That's why the Guy you like doesn't notice you

@KhloeKardashian We've met a few times, but you'd be perfect as a Size Zero - I've launched a new Size Zero Pill. I'll send it to the shop?  "

Believe me, there was more.  Much more.  I sincerely hope that anyone who reads even these snippets of what this man is purporting would find themselves absolutely outraged.  I am.

While I could very well delve into a lengthy dissemination of just what is wrong with Tong's campaign, there is a broader picture here.  Part of that broader picture is the use of online social media.  As furious as I am with his message, Tong is simply one of the many sources of negative messages out there.  These sources need a way to reach their audience and a vast majority of them utilize online social media (For instance, Tong has nearly 20,000 followers on Twitter; that's 20,000 people who he can instantly access with one nasty Tweet).  But so do thousands of everyday people, such as you and I.  Online social media gives us a vehicle to, in a way, speak to the world.  In our circles of friends on Facebook, our followers on Twitter, and the people we follow all comprise a giant network; we are a part of a global mouthpiece where it is very possibly the things you post on Facebook and Twitter can be read by people all over the world.  Some choose messages of hate, like Tong.  What will you choose to say to the world?  Let's choose love.

I find this to be an appropriate time to bring up the Operation Beautiful campaign.  Check this video out everyone and remember: you are beautiful just the way you are.



All my love,
RF

11 for 2011

I'm going to make a statistical generalization and say that a vast majority of New Year's resolutions wind up in the garbage (or the cookie jar depending on the resolution) by February.  Instead of a resolution or two, I've made a list of goals for this year.  So here are my 11 for 2011:

1.  Secure a commission in the Navy

This is first and foremost.  I've put much thought over the past few months on what my next step in life will be after I graduate university and I've repeatedly arrived here.  I've got a lot of work to do, but I'm ready.

2.  Set monthly fitness goals

While a ridiculous amount of flopped New Year's resolutions are fitness related (gyms and book store featured tables across the country can attest to this), having routine goals is more realistic.  For example, my January goal is 20 minutes of exercise every day (this is in addition to karate).  Furthermore, I've found another running program to work with that I really like, so this is completely doable.  Next month I intend to re-evaluate where I'm at and what I need to do to get better.

3.0  Add some happy hip hop music to my repertoire

Yes, miss classic/hard/gothic rock is actually branching out.  I have slowly come to realize that not all hip-hop is obnoxious and the "happy" variety makes me, well, happy.  It's also great workout music! (For the record I still abhor rap music, just had to put that out there).

3.1  (Because, well, 3.0 needed some more substance.)  Get better at sending greeting cards (i.e. actually do so).

This is a general correspondence goal.  I'd like to start sending actual cards/notes/etc.  Who says my generation is losing touch with "old fashioned" communication?  I intend to fight this gross generalization! 

4.  Tackle an MFA reading list

Okay, start tackling one (most are hellas long).  It's going to be a while before I'm going to be able to go back to school and get another degree, but someday I'd like to consider getting an MFA in creative writing.  In the interim, there's nothing like rounding out my reading to develop my writing skills. 

5.  Go skiing again

I tried skiing for the first time over my Christmas holiday and had a blast.  I intend to hit the slopes again this year. 

6.  Write a blog post a week

While I'm stealing some of my goals from my reinvention list of a few months ago, it's something I want to bring into 2011.  A second part of this is to chronicle my goals as I work towards them.  Writing material!

 7.  Expand my container garden

Last year I cultivated some pepper and cilantro plants, nothing too fancy but it was a success.  As soon as the frost is clear, I intend to start it up again.  I'm looking into what other plants I might add.

8.  Collect my favorite recipes into one cookbook. 

I've mentioned Ree (Pioneer Woman) and her blog a time or two in the past few months.  Someone got the hint and I received her cookbook for Christmas.  I've already found a few recipes that, after rigorous testing (i.e. taste testing!) I will add to the book of life accordingly.  In the mean time, I intend to locate the recipes for my favorite foods.  Many of these are either recipes from my mother, her mother, etc. and recipes that I've happened upon over the years and/or have created (modified) myself.  The bottom line is to have a collection of those tried and true, yummerific foods (it's a technical term). 

9.  Thrift shopping for funky clothes

Again inspired by a blog, this time New Dress A Day, I'd like to hit the estate/garage sales/ flea markets/etc. and try my hand at revamping some old stuff.  This is both friendly to my budget and my personality.

10.  Take some shooting courses

I'm not too shabby at target shooting, but practice never hurt and I'd like to look into some more action oriented courses.  At the very least, if I get to the range more this year I'll be a happy camper.

11.  Karate

I will make my final point in a moment, but before then enjoy this long introduction to my finale!

One thing that scares the living day lights out of me is that my home base will be changing a little over a year from now.  While change is the only constant in life (I really despise that saying, for the record), I have always been a creature of habit who detests said habit to be interrupted.  I'm talking about major stuff such as where I live, where I go to school/work, etc.  I'm the kid who cried at the end of every. single. school year from oh maybe 2nd grade on because I didn't want a new teacher and new classmates.  I feel comfort in what I know (most people do, I suppose).  Well that's all changing again as I shift from student to career woman (that's scary), which in my case will involve a geographic change.  For the record I am bound and determined to get through said change with as few to no emotional breakdowns as possible, I have to grow up sometime... Ahem.

FINALE:  One of my most beloved aspects of my current home base is karate, and I'm going to miss it terribly next year.  I could very well have one of those breakdowns if I think on this too long.  In short, my final goal for 2011 is to (continue to) work as hard (and harder) during the time I have with karate. 


So there it is, my 11 for 2011!  Here's to a great year full of life, love, and growth. 

Cheers,

RF

Two Goodbyes

For one of the last writing exercises from my writing class this past semester, I elaborated on a prompt given in class.  Originally, we listed five goodbyes and then detailed one of them.  I went into detail two more...

Goodbye No. 1 Spring Break

Airplanes roared overhead, car breaks squealed, suitcases hit the pavement with cluncks and ca-clacks, people shouted over the din.   I hopped out of the red Grand Caravan and hauled my hopefully (fingers crossed) less than fifty pound suitcase with me.   My Uncle got out with me and gave me a farewell hug.  The usual, these weeks go by too fast, we’ll see you soon, love you.  I shouted a goodbye to Grandpa through the open slider door and he waved from the driver’s seat.

I had no sooner turned to face the sliding doors and the imminent ticketing counter when I decided that goodbye simply would not suffice.  I made the split second decision to abandon my suitcase (sorry airport security voice) and dash around the van to give my Grandpa a proper goodbye.   His hearty laugh, one that always came from deep in his belly and could fill a whole room, and no less overpower the sounds around us came through the glass before he opened the door.

“I love you Grandpa, see you this summer,” I promised as I hugged him.   I breathed in his familiar smokey scent. 
“Love you too, kiddo.”   His merry eyes were full of laughter.
That was the last hug I gave him.

Goodbye No. 2 Wednesday 30 June 2010

“Hey Grandpa, Happy Birthday!” I spoke into the phone.  His laughter filled the receiver.
“I can’t wait to see you this weekend!” I told him.
“I’m looking forward to it. So what’s the plan?”
“Mom wants to leave early on Saturday, so we should be in by eight.”
“Well I’ll see you on Sunday morning then,” he chuckled back.  This was one of our jokes.   He always went to bed around seven at night, so whenever we drove up to New York for a visit and got in past seven, we wouldn’t see him until the morning.

“Guess what?”  I told him next, “I want to get a motorcycle!”   There was that belly deep laugh again.  “Oh really?  A crotch rocket?  Why do you want one of those?”
“Because they’re awesome and bad ass,” I promptly replied.
“I suppose you’d be the first in the family to have one,” he laughed.

“On another note, Mom and I were talking the other day and it looks like I should start getting things in line for my commission next semester.”
“Oh so you decided then?”
“Yup, the plan is as soon as I graduate in ’12, I’ll be heading off to OCS in Rhode Island.   I’ll be a Navy Officer, Grandpa.”
I could just see his smile as he replied, “That’s really something.  I’m really proud of you, kiddo.”
“Thank you Grandpa, I’m proud of you too.”  I replied back, “I guess I’ll let you go then, it’s getting close to bed time, huh?”
“Absolutely,” he replied, “I’ll see you on Sunday then.”
“Alright, see you Sunday. Love you, bye.”
“Love you too, kiddo.”

Three days later, my Mom, brother and I were en route to NY when we got a call that my Grandpa had died in his sleep early that morning.   He had just turned seventy-six.

XXX

Goodbye Grandpa, I love and miss you terribly.

Love,

RF

The Jesse Tree Celebration

Our very own Jesse Tree!

One of the most exciting things for me this past month has been my family group's celebration of the Jesse Tree.  Now, before I get any credit whatsoever in sounding cultured I must confess that my first thought upon being told we were going to have one this year was "What on earth is that?" followed closely by "Jesse... Jesse... I know he was one of those Old Testament guys... Yeah, that's all I've got."  So I promptly awayed to a computer and (of course) consulted Google.  Oh Google.  I did come to learn by experience though as well, I am happy to say. 

The Jesse Tree is a celebration of advent.  It is, in a way, a more "Christian" version of the Christmas tree than the common one (which I have no beef with).  The Jesse Tree celebration is not intended to be in lieu of the more common Christmas traditions.  It's a way of celebrating the coming of the Christ child into the world by following the Old Testament events that led up to His arrival some two thousand years ago.  An additional bonus for me was I got to brush up on some of my OT.  Woot woot!  Now some people celebrate the Jesse Tree every day of advent with an OT event, but because our group meets weekly we condensed our celebration into weekly readings of the events.  Both are common practices.

The bible is chalk full of references to trees.  They symbolize life, rebirth, etc.  In Isaiah 11, the Prophet records "A shoot will spring forth from the stump of Jesse, and a branch out of his roots."  This passage is one of the prophecies made of the coming of Christ, a branch from the root of Jesse (Jesus was a descendant of Jesse).  Thus the Jesse Tree is so named.

For each OT event celebrated by the Jesse Tree, there is an assigned ornament.  Traditionally, children make these.  This is one of the ways the JTC involves the whole family.  The kiddos get a chance to put that creativity to good use!  Boy did we have some beauties this year, I wish I had pictures.  I did contribute and make a couple ornaments, because I'm a dork and I have yet to grow up.  Props still to the kids though, they're little Van Goghs and Picassos in the making (sans the ear issue).

There are twenty-eight events and/or themes in the Jesse Tree.

1. Creation; symbolized by a dove ornament
2. The first sin; symbolized by an apple
3. The flood;  symbolized by a rainbow or an ark
4. God's promise to Abraham to make his descendants "as numerous as the stars;"  symbolized by a field of stars
5. The offering of Isaac where Abraham trusted God and God provided a ram in place of Isaac to be sacrificed; symbolized by a ram
6. Jacob dreams of a ladder to heaven and God promises to continue the promise through Jacob's line that he made to Jacob's father Abraham; symbolized by, well, a ladder
7. God's providence in Joseph's life, even though he was mistreated by his brothers and sold into slavery he was in Egypt when a famine struck and was able to provide food for his family; symbolized by Joseph's coat of many colors
8. God's leadership through Moses to deliver his people from the Egyptians; symbolized by a burning bush (this one didn't have to burn without burning up the bush, in fact it didn't have to burn at all because that would be a fire hazard...)
9. The Passover, where God instructed the Israelites to spread lamb's blood on their doors one night to protect them from the death of the firstborn plague.  Also the Exodus out of Egypt; this is symbolized by a lamb (baaa).
10. The Torah at Sinai, where God gives Moses the tablets of the Torah; symbolized by (le gasp!) the tablets of the Torah!
11. The fall of Jericho which allowed the Israelites to finally enter the promised land; symbolized by a ram's horn trumpet.
12. God used Gideon, an obscure guy from the tribe of Manasseh, to free Israel; symbolized by a crown.
13. David, a shepherd for the people; symbolized by a shepherd's crook
14. Elijah and the prophets of Baal.  Baal's prophets could not convince Baal to burn the offering to prove his power, but even after Elijah ordered a stone altar to be built and the sacrifice to be drenched in water, Yahweh (God) burned the whole dang thing; symbolized by... a stone altar!
15. God's faithfulness and deliverance to Hezekiah; symbolized by an empty tent.
16. Isaiah's call to holiness, where he has a dream in which a coal of living fire is touched to his lips; symbolized by fire tongs with "hot" coal (once again fire hazards prevented the real deal, as it did with Elijah's altar.)
17. The Exile of the Israelites from the promised land; symbolized by tears ;(
18. The Israelites waiting to return; symbolized by a stone watchtower
19. The return and rebuilding in the promised land; a city wall is the symbol
20. John the Baptist prepares the way for the Christ by calling Israel to repent of their sins; symbolized by a white shell
21. Mary's visit by Gabriel, who tells her she will be the mother of the Christ; symbolized by a white lily
22. The joy in Elizabeth, Mary Jesus' mother's cousin, who became pregnant after being barren until she was considered too old to have children.  Chronologically, this happened before John the Baptist prepared the way because, well, Elizabeth was pregnant with him.  Jesus still cooking too. The point is the joy; this is symbolized by a mother and child.
23. Zechariah doubted when Gabriel told him his wife, Elizabeth, was going to have a child.  He was struck mute until the birth and naming of John the Baptist (though they didn't name him the Baptist at that time...).  He named his son via writing; symbolized by a pencil and tablet.
24. Joseph was in strange predicament when the girl he was essentially engaged (okay, pledged) to turned up pregnant and there was no way he was involved.  Gabriel visited him also and told him it was all good and Joe trusted him; this symbol was a carpenter's hammer.
25. The three Magi learned of the Christ child who was to be born and set out to worship him; this is symbolized by a star.
26. The birth of Jesus the Messiah; symbolized by a manger.
27. Christ the son of God; symbolized by the Chi-Rho (XP) symbol

Okay I lied, there were twenty-seven.  At any rate, I really enjoyed this celebration.  I intend to incorporate it into my own kiddo's Christmases some day.  It's a great addition to the Christmas season.

Cheers!

RF

Still in love

The countdown to Christmas is in the home stretch.  The season of joy and peace is here.  I love the Christmas radio station, the lights everywhere, and the piles of snow we've managed to retain.  I love the spirit of my childhood that delights in the traditions.  There's a reason that it's called "the most wonderful time of the year," (at the risk of being cliche).  It really is, for some.

Christmas is a time of joy, but for some it's a time of sadness too.  There are people who will be spending the holiday alone, some for the first time and some for the umpteenth time.  There are people who will be missing.  There are people for whom the holidays are only a reminder of just how hard the times have been.  

While I don't pretend to be alone or destitute, just one of the St. Louis Post Dispatch's 100 Neediest Cases is testament to that, I still have my baggage to add to the not so cheery side of the season as well.  It's been a little over five months since my angel Grandpa E's birthday weekend, since he went to sleep in his reclining chair and woke up in heaven.  Some days it feels as if it's been an eternity since I last heard his wonderful laughter, other days it feels like I just heard the news all over again.  Some days I miss him so much it hurts.  It's taken me about a week now to really begin to comprehend that we're about to face a Christmas without him.  It got worse when I went down my Christmas list and realized that I wouldn't be shopping for his present.  In a very real sense, we're all still in mourning.  The wounds are still fresh, not that I expect to ever miss him less.  

At the same time, I'm positively surrounded by love.  In a way, the trio of my mom, brother, and me have been adopted into a "family."  Last month I featured our family group in my Give Thanks series.  In short, they're a group of families from my church who we join for a weekly night of fellowship (and lots of food).  I love them dearly.  Their support over the past year has been truly a God send.  Just the other night we had our Christmas kick off sort of night, with the last of our Jesse Tree celebration and a good old game of white elephant.  At the end of every family group night, we have a group prayer which we all contribute our concerns and thanksgivings.  On this particular night there was a fairly resounding prayer of thanks for the group and how we've really become like a large (albeit slightly eccentric but nonetheless loving) family.  This really touched me, as I looked around the room at all those dear faces.  At heart I'm a family person; I come from a relatively small family and obviously my immediate family is rather fractured.  This is why I felt so touched by my family group the other night;  they've opened their hearts to the three of us and given us that love I've always wanted in a big family. 
Now before the family I'm related to gets overlooked, I cannot say I'm not loved by them.  They may be small, but they're special.  While my parents are divorced, I know they still love my brother and I.

This harsh contrast between the utter hurt of missing my dear Grandpa and the joy from the rest of my loving family is hard to take in.  In the end, it's love that binds both of these.  It's love that fills my family and it's love that makes me miss my Grandpa so much.  While it hurts, I wouldn't trade loving him for a heart that doesn't ache.  After all, in the end, I'm still in love.

Merry Christmas to all, to those who rejoice and to those who mourn.  May all find the light of love somewhere in their lives.

Signed,

RF

My dear Grandpa E, Christmas 2009

Operation Beautiful

"I'm Caitlin, and I'm the editor of Operation Beautiful. The mission of Operation Beautiful is to post anonymous notes in public places for other women to find. The point is that WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. You are enough... just the way you are!"

When I first watched this during a presentation for a psychology project, I literally teared up.  There is something truly beautiful about this.  We are beautiful, every one of us, just the way we are.  I am passing this on to encourage other women to at the very least stop and tell yourself, "I am beautiful."  Because, babe, you are.

I have plans for some sticky note action in the near future

Warm fuzzies,

RF